It's funny, when you build something up in your head

I still seek my father's approval. I'm sure I always will. I'm a big girl, and I can make my own decisions, and I think I'm pretty responsible and make good choices, if I do say so myself. But, when it comes to the big ones, I want my daddy to agree that I did the right thing and that he's proud of me. And I know that some of his opinions don't gel with mine, so when that happens, I feel intimidated to share with him the decision or change. Silly? Maybe. But it'll be that way the rest of our relationship, I'm sure.

He wants us to buy a house and start accruing some equity and stuff. I agree, it would be nice to be making payments on our mortgage, not someone else's. And we had all intentions of buying in the next couple of months. In fact, we were pursuing a meeting with a loan officer that came recommended to us. He hadn't called us back, when we were told about the house for rent. We think that was a sign. Sometimes God's plans for you are a bit skewed from your own. When we decided we would indeed rent that house, I had this childlike fear in the back of my mind that my dad would not approve and I'd have to explain to him our choice to keep renting for awhile.

So, last night, I was returning his call, and it got to the "so, what have you guys been up to?" question, and I had to tell him. I spewed out all the features of the house and how the opportunity just fell into our lap and how we were certainly not soughting after renting anything else. And then I waited. I waited for the comment about how that wasn't the best choice, or how that money could be going towards a mortgage (where I'd have to argue that no, we couldn't afford the mortgage on the house we're renting), or that we should just be sitting still until we find a place to buy. But nothing like that happened. He said he was happy for us and proud and glad we're getting out of our current place. I was a little shocked, to be honest. I suppose I underestimated him. I know he's not some beast that I can't talk to or share my life's triumphs with, but I still feel like a child sometimes and that he needs to approve my every move.

So this was a victory. He was pleased and I didn't get any comments that made me feel guilty or that I had made a rash decision. It's funny when you build something up in your head, and then it's not that big of a deal.