It ain't easy being green

Time for a change. Again. You can always tell when I'm home more, when the blog changes a lot, huh? Oh well. Change is good.

You know what change I would like and pray for every night? Gracie to sleep through the night. She makes it to 5 or 6 on occasions, but not consistently. All would be well, if our little princess would decide that she could be content with staying snuggled up warm in her bed until at 6 in the morning (if we're gonna dream, let's wish for 7 or 8, shall we?). I think she'll give in soon, but until then, I guess I need to be happy with only one wake up a night. And the fact that we only have one baby. Have you ever seen the tv show "Jon and Kate Plus 8"? If you haven't, check your local listings and just breeze by it one of these days. It makes all mothers feel better about their situations. She had 8 babies in two pregnancies!!

I guess one baby not sleeping through the night yet is nothing in comparison. I'll shut up now.

Proud to be an American

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!! So, without getting too political or in-your-face with you any of you, I just want to say that I hope you remember why we celebrate this day. It doesn't matter where you stand on the wars that are going on, or what politcal party you're from, or what race you are, or what religion you practice or what your stand for at all. Really, in this instance, it doesn't. Because no matter who you are or what you believe in or where you're from, someone came before you and fought and died for you to live the way you do. You couldn't live so freely, knowing that you can pray to whatever God (or god) you want without being persecuted for it, you can eat in whatever restaurant or use whatever public facility you choose without fear that someone might see your skin color and kick you out after a severe beating. We are who we are because of our history. And most of that history involves Veterans and soldiers that did what they needed to do and what they thought was right. We often forget that or think of it as cliche'. But today should be a reminder of why we have the luxuries we have and the price others before us paid.

So, as you're grilling your hot dogs and burgers, or chugging down that icy cold beer or just laughing it up with your buddies, remember how lucky you are to hang out with whomever you want and talk about whatever you want. It's good to be free, isn't it?

This time tomorrow...

It will officially be summer, at least for the kids in my District. That seems weird to me, as I've been home and away from work since Spring Break. I often forget that summer hasn't even started yet. I keep thinking about things that need to get done in my classroom and how I'm going to get over there to do them, and that stresses me out. I want to have the mentality of "oh well, I'm on Maternity Leave!! I'll get them done when I darn well please!", but most every bone in my body wants to go down there right now and take care of them. I MIGHT try to go by the school tomrrow, as it is the last day. We'll see though, as it all depends on Grace's schedule.

It's been weird enough being out and about during a weekday, now I'll be seeing my students (some hiding, some seeking me out) around town.

Ain't it great to be a girl??

I went to a special thing last night. It's called the SHE event. Check out the website if you'd like. http://www.sheevent.com/index.php It was an emotional, powerful and empowering time. It was time to spend with fellow Christian girls of all ages (there were little girls up to Grandmas and probably even great Grandmas), without children!! If you're familiar, the Christian singer Rebecca St. James was not only the main performer, but also the host. It was neat. The end.

Happy 8 week birthday, Gracie!

Well, Grace is 8 weeks old today. She'll officially be 2 months old on Wednesday. Wow. I'm beginning to completely forget what it was like before. I guess because my day is so consumed by mommy duties that it has escaped my mind what it was like to just have one. Things were easier, I'll tell ya that. I didn't realize how independent Mason had become until we had Grace. He can dress and undress himself. He can feed himself and clean up after himself. He can sit for long periods of time and read and watch tv and play without needing aide from us. And Grace is not only an infant, but she's colicky (or something. we haven't figured it out yet) and that makes for long days. She cries a lot. Spits up a lot. Needs to be held a lot. I want to get things done and feel I should as I am at home all day, but there are times, when I have like 5 unfinished projects scattered about the house (half folded laundry, some dishes put away, etc.) and it's frustrating. I know "this too shall pass", and before we know it, she'll be Mason's age, saying quirky things like, "I smell something like snack" or "Juice and milk and water are good for our tummies" or "I can read. The letters are T, K, M, A, B" like her big brother.

I want to enjoy being home. I want to be thankful that God has blessed me with more time at home than the first time. I want to be glad I'm not working. And I pray that I get to have these feelings before the summer's over. We have Grace's 2 month checkup on Monday, and we'll discuss our frustrations with the doctor. I hope she has some answers. And I hope I can soon be thrilled to be home with 2 children.

This is me. Bored.

It was time for a change. Hope you like the new color scheme. It's kinda fun and summery. 'Til next time...

Is it wrong that I miss my school?

I've been back to visit my school twice in the past week or so, and I kind of miss it. Don't get me wrong, it's so nice to be home everyday, making memories with my 3 year old and watching my infant change and grow before my eyes, but walking back into the school gave me such a familiar feeling that I miss at times.

My first visit was last Friday. I was nervous for some reason. I took Mason and Grace with me, so it was a bigger production to get there, so maybe that's why my nerves were skittish, but I don't know. As soon as I walked through the front doors, it was like I never left. Granted, it had only been 6 weeks, which isn't long at all, but still. A lot can happen in 6 weeks. Anyways, the ladies in the front office went gaga over Grace and tried to talk to Mason, but he's on this kick that he hides any time someone asks him just about anything. Frankly it's getting a little annoying. I know kids can be shy and it's better than him leaping into the arms of strangers, but I just wish he'd respond or answer people when they talk to him. But I digress. So after hanging in the office for a bit, we trudged upstairs (via the elevator, of course) and went to my classroom. Mrs. Former Assistant Principal was delighted to have me come by and she wasn't at all put off that I disrupted class. I let the kids come up row by row to see the baby and of course to chat with me. It was strange to see them. They still felt like my kids and it felt like my classroom, but with a slightly different feel. The girls were especially pleased to see the baby and me, but the boys seemed indifferent about the whole thing (not surprising). After that, Mason and Grace and I returned to the front office and I ended up feeding Gracie in Mrs. Principal's office. And I needed to go through 5 weeks of mail. Apparently, Mrs. Assistant Principal "just hadn't thought to" check my mailbox, so needless to say, there was quite a bit to weed through. Mostly junk, but I had to hand her some of the things to actually give out to students!! I realize she didn't want to go through my personal mail, but you'd think she still would have checked! Ah well, not my problem I guess.

My second visit was this past Thursday. I had to return some paperwork to the school anyways, and I figured I could visit another group of my kids. This was a shorter visit, but still a thrill for my kids and a lot of teachers that I encountered. Mason still didn't want to talk to anyone, yet many people tried to ask him if he was enjoying being a big brother and having mommy home. This class was also happy to see me and asked vehemently that I come back. I laughed and said that wasn't going to happen. Is there a part of me that kind of wishes I was going back this school year? Maybe. I wouldn't want to leave Gracie with someone already (although she will be in more than capaable hands next year, being that we're leaving her with a friend from church that lives in the next subdivision over from ours), but I kind of wish I could get out of the house everyday and be in the presence of other people. And get paid again. And I'm off track again. Well, anyways, it was nice to go back, and I plan on returning to visit at least one more time, as I have one more group of kids to see. Plus there's end of the year stuff that will still need to be done. And I want to know the schedule for next year.

Rumor is that I'm teaching a block of 7th grade Honors Language Arts. We'll see if that pans out. Could make things interesting. But for now, my main focus is intended to be Mommy Duty, I suppose. And I am thankful for that. I just wish I could have it both ways.

What's so magical about the 6 week mark??

A lot of people (including doctors) seem to think that once your newborn hits the 6 week mark, things start to run smoother. Hmmmm...tomorrow Gracie will be 6 weeks old (gosh, that was fast!!) and we're still working out some kinks. She has a serious spitting up problem (she's like Old Faithful. A screaming, unhappy, pooping Old Faithful...) and we are still in the changing-all-the-variables stage right now. We're hoping to get it figured out asap. In fact, we have an UltraSound of her tummy scheduled for Tuesday. They want to make sure everything's in working order and the valve going into her stomach is the right size or something.

She's also not sleeping through the night quite yet. I know we were spoiled with Mason, and we knew going into it that there was a chance she wouldn't be as eager to sleep through the night as young as he, but she was sending us false vibes about a week ago when she was sleeping until 4 or so. But she's back to waking up around 1 or 2 most of the time now. Maybe it's related to the problem mentioned above. Only time will tell, right?

Luckily I'm not really suffering from the Baby Blues this time around, because that would make things a billion times worse. Not to say I don't have my moments of tearful frustration, but at least I haven't thought of walking away and joining a circus. (Note: I did not seek a circus last time, I was just making up something ridiculous) But I do have times during the day when I miss work. I know if you read archived blogs from 2 months ago, you would be shocked to read this one, as I was SO READY to leave work then. But I miss the predictability of the job. I miss the interaction. And I miss getting out of the house without children. My children anyway.

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just wish it was brighter. And closer.